I miss heaven ... and other scattered thoughts

We must be born with a taste of heaven in our mouths. How else do we know what we’re deeply missing and daily yearning for…

As I caught up on reading my friend Flo’s blog, I started crying and missing her and her family so much. They just moved to Tennessee for all the right reasons, but it still makes me ache with sadness. It feels like grade school all over again — you make wonderful friends, you play together and grow together, and then they move away. At least, that’s been the story of my life. I’m the stay-er. Others are the movers and shakers. I seem to stay put. I know without a doubt that I’m supposed to be here in San Luis Obispo right now (where I’ve been for 11 years), and I truly hope to remain here for a long time.

After I wiped the tears away, I started to get sad in a different way. I miss heaven. I crave the tastes of the eternal that we Earth-dwellers are allowed to have every now and again. I long for absolute comfort and stability and love from friends. I hate having to try to protect myself from inevitable change and loss. I’m ever so thankful I have God’s love and ultimate comfort, or else I’d be a total mess.

I want this year to be a year of personal change and growth. I don’t want to protect myself anymore. I’m turning 30 in August, and I am beginning to realize that it’s true what everyone says about completing your third decade — you start to gain wisdom, perspective, and a little fear. What does it all mean? Who am I? How can I give love and comfort and stability to my daughter, my husband, my friends?

With the remnants of tears in my eyes, I am resolving myself to love as if no one will ever leave me.

Andrea,
Strict Standards: mktime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EST/-5.0/no DST' instead in /homepages/12/d87142383/htdocs/pivotx/lib.php on line 2993
Thursday 17 January 2008 at 3:41 pm
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Happy Birthday, Natalie!

I can’t believe it’s been a year (everyone says that, don’t they?). It’s been quite a learning and growing experience for us Rookses. I’ve loved every stage of growth and development (yet, looking back, I’m not so sure I’d want to give birth again any time soon!), and am excited about what this next year will bring for all three of us.

More thoughts and photos (on Natalie’s blog) to come soon.

Andrea,
Strict Standards: mktime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EST/-5.0/no DST' instead in /homepages/12/d87142383/htdocs/pivotx/lib.php on line 2993
Monday 14 January 2008 at 1:22 pm
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